Recently I have done a lot of things that I regret...especially to one of the closest people to my heart. Celeste, I know I have fucked up and for that I am deeply sorry, I never wanted to harm you and I certainly didn't want it to turn out like this.

All I ever wanted was for everybody around me to be happy, and without even realizing it I betrayed you and hurt you.....for this I am sorry.

I would also like to apologize to all my other friends..I am so sorry. I have been pushing you all away. Ever since I lost my job it has been one thing after another, I have drown my sorrows in alcohol and drugs and I have never felt so lost and lonely.

Seriously I dont know what all of you see in me...I treat you all like crap, evading your calls, pretending I'm not home, basically running away from you all......and I don't know why! You all have been so good to me.

It feels like no matter what I do the people closest to my heart go away and take a part of my heart with them. I feel empty and cold, its like my life went from hectic to chaotic overnight and I just cant believe Im in the situation Im in. I thought by now I would have a job, completed my grade 12 and be in collage or university. Instead Im barely going to school, I havent even looked for a job yet, Im on social assistance, looking for a place to move to because I told my sister I cant live with her anymore, my entire family just found out that Im gay, wait till they find out Im engaged to my other room mate, they'll blow there tops!!! lol

Currently cant afford food after I pay my bills and rent, my mother taken me out yesterday to lunch and I could only eat a couple bites, its almost like I was so hungry that I didnt wanna eat it if that makes any sense.

So yeah, Im in a bit of a mess right now.

Constantly worrying about whether or not Im losing my mind, offending people, I just dont know what to do anymore my head is so boggled with problems....its too much for me to take on.
My guardian angel, if you can hear me I could really use some good luck right about now...Jen...Ive never needed a friend like I do now *crys*

So now you all have been updated on my situation, atleast something I did was done right.....
~Omen